Monday, November 08, 2004


MORN -ing

Rudely awaken by the sound of my hand phone ringing. Mom called to tell me that she got to talk to me. I got down from Des’s apartment only to realize that I had to walk there. This is happening at 8:20 am, when I slept at 6am. Of course during the entire walk, I was pissed of and was thinking that if she wanna “talk” she could at least not let me walk…
Found out grandma had a stroke. I didn’t really absorb what she was saying at first. That and I don’t think I feel comfortable letting my mom see me upset.
Got home and tried calling Ramon. I guess he would still be sleeping. Finally I messaged him to call me when he gets up. I only realized I was distraught when I caught myself pacing while telling Ramon about my grandma.

AFTER - noon

I have to get to Jam! Jam! Jam! The whole of KL is in a jam. We had to send the car for servicing because the steering wheel was vibrating. Mom had to get to KL city centre and I was suppose to drive to Finally resorted to taking the LRT. By the time I got there it was 4:00 pm aargh.
We were doing voice projections today and I missed almost half of it. We were suppose to read a text on the spot. I picked Dorian Gray because I am familiar with the story. We were supposed to watch out pronunciation, intonation, speed etc.
David was the first to go. He couldn’t get into character because he got distracted by laughter(Something funny must have happened). Next up, Michael. What I remembered most about his performance was the how dramatic he made it when he had to be in pain when he was to read his text. There was a lot of body movements and in a way I guess it helped him because he was visualizing the scene. I was supposed to go next but since Idora had to leave early she went before me. I loved the way Idora read when she was suppose to be an 80 year old gypsy woman. Its amazing how she was an old gypsy woman just by using her voice its just amazing.
Well when it was my turn it wasn’t so amazing la :P I cried and it is embarrassing.
I couldn’t concentrate and apparently I have dyslexia. It didn’t bother me to much because its something that I could fix. I guess what bothers me the most about grandma’s stroke is this whole sense of helplessness. I mean in my life I always felt like nothing is impossible as long as there is a will. It’s just a matter of getting my motivation up. But when it comes to grandma, I really felt helpless. There is nothing I can do. I feel myself trying to grasp every second in life and trying hard to accumulate it so I can spend every second of it with her but I can’t. Death is an integral part of life that I know. Thinking about losing my grandma made me think of how many people I love and how I take it for granted that they are alive. Shaken that I was (sounds so Yoda-ish). Every moment with my love ones are precious and it is so easy to forget that.
Erm to the rest of you sorry I was lost in my world after that.


It is off to the National Arts Gallery. Thumb a lift from Sums. She is bursting with energy (too much sugar). Kinda reminds me of a chipmunk. I was supposed to go to the art gallery in the morning to view Jorg Shimon Schuldness exhibition. The Swiss ambassador was supposed conducting a tour of the exhibition for students. Didn’t go cause traffic jam and news on grandma.
I have been to a few exhibitions before but often alone and mostly in KLCC while waiting for mum to get off from work. I really had a lot of fun going to the gallery with company because there are some things that they pointed out that make me re-arrange my outlook. Idora took us to her piece and I really wondered what would happen if we found it. Would we be like one of those snotty people who go hmm…? Some how I don’t think so. Mum came and I introduce her to the rest of the gang. I think mum kinda enjoyed Idora’s piece.


Arrived home pretty late at about 9. Called pa and apparently grandma is ok. He sounded fine and that made me feel better. Going Zouk tonight after meeting up with some ex-collage mates in Passion. Got a few drinks from mates in Passion and then headed back to Zouk. It was 2am when we re-entered Zouk and the music is way better than last night. I got really high (on music and a dash of alcohol)

-M O R N A F T E R E V E - N T -

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