Sunday, February 13, 2005

eVeRythiNg iS About ME + my Miracle

note : this is written in a some what confused state of mind which left me deranged. The end result seems to be in some form of poetry.

Poetry??Erm it claims not to be one.

Being - everything is about me

Got a weird feeling within me
And it is eating my insides.
I am choking on the bile.
Feels like I am being suffocated
I want to escape but I am tied down.

This is not poetry

But this is how I am feeling
Right now.
I am a frustrated individual
And this is my release.
Of some kind

I want to try new things

Held back by myself and fear.
I have stopped living on the edge.
The sound of rain calms me

As I try and find the words to express how I feel.

I am frustrated with myself

Then I get frustrated
With the people around me
And the World in general.
Than its back to me again.

Frustrated with myself
Because I feel lost and yet
At the same time swamped
With everything around me.
Everything is about me.


I miss the YA’s. I think going on long periods without theater makes me feel this way. Maybe its because in a way I need magic to fuel me.

I witness a couple of fashion shoots and I found myself fascinated.
I joined theater and I am hooked onto magic.


I know people don’t believe in magic and miracles but maybe people just stop believing in it because it is all around us. In a way it is amazing that a seed can become a tree don’t you think so?
It’s the same with theater. I fell in love with theater because its like being on the edge of an explosion. You see everybody just pooling in all this raw energy which leads to the end of the line and there will be this massive explosion of energy that makes everyone smile with relief and yet there is a sadness that lingers on for the moment that can never be reclaimed. It’s the same feeling when I saw the fashion shoot albeit less intense as compared to theater.
I guess in a way what fascinates me is creation itself. It doesn’t matter if I was a part of it or just witnessing it.

It is a miracle.

That is what inspires me.

That is what fuels me.

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