Thursday, January 20, 2005

post-GRuMps and DReaMS

Ever had one of those days where you wake up and everything seems just wrong? Ever had someone who can make that nasty cloud above your head just poof (sound effects) disappear? Well the bad day was yesterday but the great thing is that I’ve got someone who can make the grumpiness disappear (although the grumpy side of me complains about the freedom of expression)

Today is post grumpy day and the whole of last night all I did was sit in front of the PC and watch movie after movie not wanting to talk to anyone because everyone annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it’s an anti-social hormone kicking in (and I swear its not my period)

Was going to write about this TV series called Joan of Arcadia but I really don’t know what I am trying to say. All I know is that I am a little fixated with this idea. The idea that when a person dies, that person leaves ripples. The ripples could be good or bad.

This leads to the issue of death. My dad always said that we shouldn’t be afraid of death and yet when I saw a corpse (covered) I recoil from it.

“The brave dies but only once and the coward die a thousand deaths”

I really don’t know if I really am afraid to die. I guess the only way I can really know is when I go out into the battlefield.

When I read Neil Gaiman’s Sandman graphic novel, he made death look like a cool goth chick. I admit that I have always been fascinated by the idea of the Dreaming because it lets me escape from the routines of everyday life. There was a period of my life when I really hated my life that I’d rather choose to sleep my day away because at least in dreams things are way more interesting and at times they seem so real. There were times where I wake up crying when I was crying in a dream. Interesting how dreams can cause a reaction in the waking world too huh?

Here is a weird dream I had when I was really young.

Wyrd DReaM
My sister and I was chasing after our mom who was drunk. After sometime we lost her and we search all over for her. When we were close to giving up, mom appeared and apologize for her behavior she wanted to go home with us together. We were waiting at a bus stop and when the bus arrived it was full of spirits and ghost only mom can’t see it. I was telling her that we shouldn’t go on the bus because I see all these ghost. Mom being mom insisted that there wasn’t anything strange with the bus and went up but I stayed behind. Well the search begins again and along the way I lost my sis and I was frustrated and irritated. At one point I realize it’s a dream and wanted to wake myself up but I couldn’t. I don’t know what logic came to me in the dream but I figured that when we get dreams of being chased by monsters we never see these monster because we get eaten and ‘die’ in the dream. When we ‘die’ in the dream we wake up. With that conclusion in mind I decided to kill myself in the dream. I could feel my life fading away when I heard mom calling to me asking me not to ‘die’ and that she found my sis too. My last thought then was :”Oh when people about t o die then you come”

It still cracks me up whenever I think of this dream.

Any Sigmund Freud wannabe who want to do a psycho analysis on me based on this dream is more than welcome to…it’ll perk up my day.*SIGH*

goth Chick Death FRoM GaiMaN'S SandMan SeRieS

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