Tuesday, January 18, 2005

2 couSINS & QUESTionS on marriage/virginity

The cousinS
Imagine two girls from Australia one aged 13 and the other 11 running around giggling and laughing like little pixies. Well that’s Jennifer and Samantha for you. These little half Chinese half Jewish cousins of mine are on a visit to my grandma’s place in Sitiawan. KL is just a pit stop for now and my are they cheeky.

Anyway little 11 year old Samantha asked me if I was a virgin (naughty and curious little girl). Well naturally being a boring adult I evaded the question by asking a question back and I didn’t say I was but she was skeptical.

Booring QUESTionS

Well that got me wondering how old is old enough to know about the birds and the bees? And while we are on the subject should one really wait for oneself to be married before popping the cherry?

Jennifer aged 13 implied that she thinks that it isn’t that important for boys to keep their virginity and this question keep coming up. Why should boys have the freedom or at least the leeway to go around romping about whereas if a woman slash girl does the same thing, she is subjected to name calling like slut, the village bicycle etc. My mom advised me to have some dignity and wait until marriage comes knocking on the door. Well isn’t love enough? Do we actually need a piece of paper to prove to the world that two people love each other? I guess the most important question we all need to ask is do we actually want to be in the dark of things during the night of matrimony?

Now I am not taking marriage lightly nor am I am I advocating the idea of randomly propagating mankind, it’s just that I truly believe that making love to someone you love is one of the most beautiful actions ever imaginable and it teaches a person to learn to give and receive pleasure. Its sad that sometimes because of the idea of keeping oneself pure there are women (not too sure about men) who would never enjoy the pleasures of love and even fear the act itself.

I think there is dignity in making love to someone you want to be with for the phase in life you are in because honestly we aren’t clairvoyants and we really don’t know what the future holds. Look at the rising divorce rates. Won’t it be ironic if people are actually getting married because they just want to get fucked?

What about couples who can never tie the knot because of prejudices from society or family? What if I have to surrender my faith in my God because of marriage and I don’t think it is right because marriage and our connection to God in whatever form are not to be taken lightly? What do I do then? I don’t think that being in the same religion is a prerequisite for marriage because if marriage is a sort of declaration of love then why should there be any criteria other than the fact that two people love each other enough to be subjected to each other’s nastiest and annoying habits as well as to be exposed to yoyo feelings of vulnerability especially when you let someone else into the inner realms of your life.

What about the people who marry because of economic reasons?...

Time to C the Future

Right enough questions because it will just go on and on and I’ll never get this done. Its time for homework and calculating the future value and present value of cold hard cash with my crystal ball of formulas
FVn = PMT * (1+ i)t


Over and out…beeeeeeeeep


duuuhvina said...

Don't worry about posting your site up on Kakiseni.com. I found it from there and I'm not complaining :P
This post is interesting, very thought provoking. I'm one of those few women out there who's holding on her virginity until marriage. It's something that men respect but never understand. It's fine, I don't expect them to. But the thing I hate the most is being PITIED. Pitied for not giving myself the opportunity to open myself up to new experiences. Call me uptight, anal, naive, square, whatever. At least I have values and stick to them which is the least I can say for those who label me. I'm living my life to my fullest and I can't be happier. Though I have absolutely no doubt that 'love sex' is something to truly cherish and I don't condone it. It's good, it's healthy. But do it wisely and don't use it as a factor to judge how well a relationship is going. Thasall I have to say about that. Thanks for reading!

Jolina said...

At the end of the day, the question of virginity and whether you should keep it for marriage or not depends on the person.

Kudos to duhhvina for holding on to it. I personally don't think you are square, naive, anal, or anything of that sort.

At the end of the day, all that matters is that you do not compromise your standards. To hell with what others say.

petalingstreet said...

congrats! your post made it to wordup as well! :)

truthfully, i'd marry someone for sex. i'm not ready for kids and i'm comfortable enough to support myself, so i don't really need a man except for companionship.

weedflower said...

Nothing like sex to get people talking huh? Anyway I wasn't trying to say anyone was anal or anything like that but I sometimes just feel that woman are at a disadvantaged to the point where some women even fear sex. Why? ...I got too many theories :P

disco-very said...

yes our society makes women fear sex, which strangely seems like a turn-on for guys. our country sees premarital sex as a cardinal sin and they try all these funny ways to hide any hint of it from the public - censoring movie scenes, not approving of sex education etc. but it's so silly, the lack of exposure ignites curiosity and we end up with dangerous pent-up instinct with no-where to materialize.