Saturday, March 26, 2011

Spaces going B&W

So I realized that I do all these colourful text with CAP-I-tal words is to confuse people...well at least I didn't realize it at that point under the pretext of it's fun. There is a part of me which still thinks that it is FUN to cap-I-TALE-ize random words in words but for now before heading out to the great OPEN road, I'll go Black and White.

Right now I'm living in an art gallery and it's a dream job.

It got me thinking about SPACES.

SPACES working with people
Working here, I've been overwhealmed a couple of times considering I've always known that sitting in front of a computer doing admin or writing out proposals are never my thing. That and I get bogged down with the lack of info I get from people or becoming over detailed about what a person want specifically. (perception its an either or thing)

The cool thing is because you are patient and guided me, you made a space for me without me realizing until much later. Thank You

spaces HOME

I never had a Space which I called my own as I've always shared a room with my sister growing up and in high school I was living in a dorm. "Home" had little SPACE for me to just be me with all the fucking obligations and ways of living that is deemed "correct"

ie You should sleep early
ie WHy you go out so much etc etc etc

n/Well today just realize its all a communication/listening issue. Because you don't listen I end up not listening which also leads to a fucking long roundabout ending at the same point over and over again

spaces OUTSIDE
I learnt to make SPace outside of the 4 corners of a building. When I sit on a tree knowing that the mundane would walk pass me when I'm just up above really cracks me up. Gleefully sometimes I feel that people are in such a rush to go from point A to point B, to achieve that they forget to look at their surroundings. I should know I numb myself doing that damn 9 to 5 job

Well despite all the complaints and cursing, I learnt to make spaces sitting in the mamak shop amidst  chattering commotion. Funnily enough words flow. Its almost because I feel insignificant surrounded by all this noise and "distraction", I probaly allow myself to feel cause I just assume everyone is too busy minding thier own business.

The best lunches I have is sitting in Mont Kiara and looking at all this concrete highways cutting across the buildings and seeing plants growing in little cracks or when the wind blows and ballerina leaves twirl about dancing with the winds. If it rains the breeze hovering over my hair zipping across my skin makes me close my eyes and smile.

Spaces AWAY
When I was living with you in America, it was the first time I had a panic attack. No back up system, no family no friends. My illusionary strength fades away as I realize how much of my arrogance and pride came from the knowingness of the support system I took for granted back home.

Create-ting Spaces

You know when you told me that you dream of a Home where people could come and teach and make art etc, and you get to learn at the same time, I have the same dream to. I would love to have a Space where people come together and share thier knowledge, inspiration, dreams and inspire each other to get things done not in a naggy way but through thier own actions.

I have tons of books and Movies that I bought but you know its boring doing things by yourself sometimes.For me ideas come alive and grow when its shared (brain-storming sessions). Remember that time when we were cooking and I wanted to barbeque the eggplants and we ended up burning the fork? Or knowing  that the dish is lacking something and you came out with the briliant idea of putting some dill from the herb garden? For me people inspire and teach me (after being humbled) especially when they share their world, their dreams, their perspective, their knowledge, their way of being.

To all of you who had dinner at the gallery, Thanks for the washing up, putting up with my control freakness, laughing, sharing worlds, playing, making, complaining, loving, smiling, playing by the rules so there will be more dinners :D and most of all for sharing and inspiring me :D

So in lieu of Spaces away, I'll publish my notes, letters and diary entries in this blog. All I'm doing is taking out the names and subsituting it with I, You, Me, he, Her, Them, Us :)

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