Thursday, August 04, 2005

Identity- Who Am I and Story

Finished this piece, Identity- Who Am I, at about 5am plus. My boobs are in there some where eheheheh.

erm i guess i should start on my writing exercise.Anyway the picture made me write this little story.


“Where am I?”

I shudder despite the hot sun beating down on me.
I remember the first time I woke up in the hospital bed, the ceiling fan beat slowly round and round and everything was white and pristine. I hear a woman sobbing beside my bed.

“Who are you. Why are you crying.”
“Oh Sherly, Oh Sherly”
“Who is Sherly”

Waking up seems like a decade ago but in truth it has only been a month ago. I hear all sorts of things about Sherly. She is the most popular girl in school, captain of the cheerleading squad, and doing well academically. She was the girl that every girl want to be. Perfect.

I have the “greatest” boyfriend who is attentive to my every need according to my best friend Rory. Doug is nice about everything. He walks me to class and eats lunch with me everyday. Every time we leave for class or home he gives me a peck on the cheek.
This is supposedly the guy of my dreams and at this moment kissing him I feel no more love for him than I do for a teddy bear in the shop that I did not grow up with.

How long is it before the fa├žade would show? How can I go through it all? Everything is so perfect.

Everyone expects me to be the girl I was but I don’t know this person they keep mentioning. I reek with guilty for feeling this way. My best friend, my boyfriend and my parents, I think they aren’t really mine at all, they belong to someone else. I know that I should love them but somehow it seems as if the memories that are washed away took the feelings with it too. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way but sometimes I feel so lost and alone. Every time people talk about her, I want to run up and just scream at them. This is more than just living an angst ridden teenage life; this is trying to live up to an identity. The one identity who is perfect and yet supposed to be Me. I don’t feel like this girl that everyone knows. The popular girl, the smartest girl, the girl that has everything going for her, Who is this? Who am I? Am I someone else or I do still have remnants of her left?

God please give me strength.

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