Thursday, January 20, 2005

post-GRuMps and DReaMS

Ever had one of those days where you wake up and everything seems just wrong? Ever had someone who can make that nasty cloud above your head just poof (sound effects) disappear? Well the bad day was yesterday but the great thing is that I’ve got someone who can make the grumpiness disappear (although the grumpy side of me complains about the freedom of expression)

Today is post grumpy day and the whole of last night all I did was sit in front of the PC and watch movie after movie not wanting to talk to anyone because everyone annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it’s an anti-social hormone kicking in (and I swear its not my period)

Was going to write about this TV series called Joan of Arcadia but I really don’t know what I am trying to say. All I know is that I am a little fixated with this idea. The idea that when a person dies, that person leaves ripples. The ripples could be good or bad.

This leads to the issue of death. My dad always said that we shouldn’t be afraid of death and yet when I saw a corpse (covered) I recoil from it.

“The brave dies but only once and the coward die a thousand deaths”

I really don’t know if I really am afraid to die. I guess the only way I can really know is when I go out into the battlefield.

When I read Neil Gaiman’s Sandman graphic novel, he made death look like a cool goth chick. I admit that I have always been fascinated by the idea of the Dreaming because it lets me escape from the routines of everyday life. There was a period of my life when I really hated my life that I’d rather choose to sleep my day away because at least in dreams things are way more interesting and at times they seem so real. There were times where I wake up crying when I was crying in a dream. Interesting how dreams can cause a reaction in the waking world too huh?

Here is a weird dream I had when I was really young.

Wyrd DReaM
My sister and I was chasing after our mom who was drunk. After sometime we lost her and we search all over for her. When we were close to giving up, mom appeared and apologize for her behavior she wanted to go home with us together. We were waiting at a bus stop and when the bus arrived it was full of spirits and ghost only mom can’t see it. I was telling her that we shouldn’t go on the bus because I see all these ghost. Mom being mom insisted that there wasn’t anything strange with the bus and went up but I stayed behind. Well the search begins again and along the way I lost my sis and I was frustrated and irritated. At one point I realize it’s a dream and wanted to wake myself up but I couldn’t. I don’t know what logic came to me in the dream but I figured that when we get dreams of being chased by monsters we never see these monster because we get eaten and ‘die’ in the dream. When we ‘die’ in the dream we wake up. With that conclusion in mind I decided to kill myself in the dream. I could feel my life fading away when I heard mom calling to me asking me not to ‘die’ and that she found my sis too. My last thought then was :”Oh when people about t o die then you come”

It still cracks me up whenever I think of this dream.

Any Sigmund Freud wannabe who want to do a psycho analysis on me based on this dream is more than welcome to…it’ll perk up my day.*SIGH*

goth Chick Death FRoM GaiMaN'S SandMan SeRieS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


Tue, Jan 18 2005 04:19:56
An egomaniac wondering how fares her blog. So visit and email her on her horrendous use of English and eccentric style of writing.(No spelling mistakes thanks to spell checks)Honestly just a wannabe writer and hoping for comments to improve from the general public. To all you mudslingers and critics…shoot me.(eheh its not that fun when someone is a willing target huh)

posted by weedflower,

Posted a message on a notice board on and this is a little odd but I am actually feeling a little embarrassed by it right now. I guess I don’t really have the makings of an egomaniac. I guess I am feeling slightly jittery because this is sort of the first time I am making this blog public. In all honesty I think I just feel a little exposed. I am not too worried about strangers but I guess I always had the thought that if people have information about me, that will make me more vulnerable. After all knowledge is power.

Right I think I shouldn’t worry my brains out and get some sleep. After all I got 2 cousins to attend to in the morning…someone pass me my coffee please.

Goodnite world

p/s praying hard that there aren't any junk mail or spam …Grrr

2 couSINS & QUESTionS on marriage/virginity

The cousinS
Imagine two girls from Australia one aged 13 and the other 11 running around giggling and laughing like little pixies. Well that’s Jennifer and Samantha for you. These little half Chinese half Jewish cousins of mine are on a visit to my grandma’s place in Sitiawan. KL is just a pit stop for now and my are they cheeky.

Anyway little 11 year old Samantha asked me if I was a virgin (naughty and curious little girl). Well naturally being a boring adult I evaded the question by asking a question back and I didn’t say I was but she was skeptical.

Booring QUESTionS

Well that got me wondering how old is old enough to know about the birds and the bees? And while we are on the subject should one really wait for oneself to be married before popping the cherry?

Jennifer aged 13 implied that she thinks that it isn’t that important for boys to keep their virginity and this question keep coming up. Why should boys have the freedom or at least the leeway to go around romping about whereas if a woman slash girl does the same thing, she is subjected to name calling like slut, the village bicycle etc. My mom advised me to have some dignity and wait until marriage comes knocking on the door. Well isn’t love enough? Do we actually need a piece of paper to prove to the world that two people love each other? I guess the most important question we all need to ask is do we actually want to be in the dark of things during the night of matrimony?

Now I am not taking marriage lightly nor am I am I advocating the idea of randomly propagating mankind, it’s just that I truly believe that making love to someone you love is one of the most beautiful actions ever imaginable and it teaches a person to learn to give and receive pleasure. Its sad that sometimes because of the idea of keeping oneself pure there are women (not too sure about men) who would never enjoy the pleasures of love and even fear the act itself.

I think there is dignity in making love to someone you want to be with for the phase in life you are in because honestly we aren’t clairvoyants and we really don’t know what the future holds. Look at the rising divorce rates. Won’t it be ironic if people are actually getting married because they just want to get fucked?

What about couples who can never tie the knot because of prejudices from society or family? What if I have to surrender my faith in my God because of marriage and I don’t think it is right because marriage and our connection to God in whatever form are not to be taken lightly? What do I do then? I don’t think that being in the same religion is a prerequisite for marriage because if marriage is a sort of declaration of love then why should there be any criteria other than the fact that two people love each other enough to be subjected to each other’s nastiest and annoying habits as well as to be exposed to yoyo feelings of vulnerability especially when you let someone else into the inner realms of your life.

What about the people who marry because of economic reasons?...

Time to C the Future

Right enough questions because it will just go on and on and I’ll never get this done. Its time for homework and calculating the future value and present value of cold hard cash with my crystal ball of formulas
FVn = PMT * (1+ i)t


Over and out…beeeeeeeeep

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

dumb people

GAwd the Worlds I over. I don't think i need any more drama.

Working with people can be so draining.

Lesson for Directors/upper management etc

1. If upper Management is screwed the rest are in for hell. (guess who gets the blame)
2. Don't panic if things don't go your way or plans change
3. Don't call people useless if all you do is just spew negativity and offer 0 solutions
4. Don't push your responsibilities to someone else or at least if that person screws up its your fault case you didn't show any planning or direction either.
5. Don't treat workers like slaves. RESPECT goes a long way

Right people didn't piss on me or anything like that but its still not right the way management works.This coming from a person who says she doesn't want to work for dumb wankers.

OK OK i am full of negativity now.Stress is not my favourite word. HAPPY NEw Year and Merry Christmas.

New year spent serving drinks so yea i made a lot of people happy :)